If you want to kiss
Kiss for real
I�ll give you back every thing you feel
You�ve Got To Show - Indigo Girls

We talked up all night and finally came to a conclusion. We�d started the fight that ended in silent confusion. We are all too old for all this bickering and fighting and hurtful feelings. How quickly the wide open has narrowed back into our little group of Sean & Scott, Nancy & Michael, Tammy, Rod, and myself. Though the time apart seemed grand we�re just one spec of sand, and back to the hourglass we�re going. It felt like no timed had passed at all, like we�d all been here in the same chairs last week. Poor Rod was a bit surprised to see Sean & Michael walk through the door. I didn�t tell him anything because I wanted it to be a surprise for him but I think it took him most of the night to sink in. He felt like he was in Dallas and he�d just awoke from a very long dream. Sean & I ganged up on him and said that if we did have purses that next time we�d beat him senseless with them.

Only now I realize that the snow was meant to be a symbol for the clean slate we were all about to start. I was glad to have everyone over and BBQ in the snow. It was a very summery evening even though it was really cold out. We had hamburgers with all the fixings, fries, onion rings, and for dessert I made root beer floats! I only feel bad that I didn�t get to chat with Michael more but there were just too many things to catch up on with Sean and I was busy playing host. I�ll catch up with him next time. I might even see if we can start going to the movies again if he�s free on Sunday and maybe include Tammy, that way if there�s something I don�t want to see they can go without me. I know they like those zombie movies that I could care less about and he likes those movies that Tammy wouldn�t pay money to see, like �Bring It On� or �Crossroads�. The only thing that brought us back to missing time is things that were bought or changed jobs that we hadn�t known about.

Overall I think a good time was had by all. The evening ended as usual with the Duran Duran DVD playing and Sean showing me how to find all the hidden alternate videos. Rod left me Down With Love to watch so I think I�ll change my sheets, jump in the shower, pop some corn, and pop it in. I should really be going to Petsmart but I�ll do that on my way home tomorrow. Where has this day gone?

Chew on that!

Quagmire Jan 1999 � Aug 2003

I think my feelings on this fight can best be described in a song be Emily Saliers called DECONSTRUCTION

We talked up all night and came to no conclusion
We started a fight that ended in silent confusion
And as we sat stuck you could hear the trash truck
Making its way through the neighborhood
Picking up the thrown out different from house to house
We get to decide what we think is no good

We�re sculpted from youth, the chipping away makes me weary
And as for the truth it seems like we just pick a theory
The one that justifies our daily lives
And backs us with quiver and arrows
To protect openings cause when the warring begins
How quickly the wide open narrows

Into the smallness of our deconstruction of love
We thought it was changing, but it never was
It�s just the same as it ever was

A family of foxes came to my yard and dug in
I looked in a book to see what this could possibly mean
Cause there is fate in the breeze and signs in the trees
Possible tragic events
When forces collide with the damage strewn wide
And holes blasted straight through the fence

The sky starts to crash the rain on the roof starts to drumming
And laid out like cash your take on my list of shortcomings
The show starts to close, I know how this goes
The plot a predictable showing
And though it seems grand it�s just one speck of sand
And back to the hourglass we�re going

Back to the smallness of our deconstruction of love
We thought it was changing, but it never was
Our deconstruction of love


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