I had a dream last night that has stayed with me all day. Not so much the dream but the feeling of the dream. The feeling of rejection and I don�t like it and I can�t seem to get away from it. I don�t remember the dream exactly but there was a guy that I was blowing and right in the middle of it he tells me to leave that it�s not working out. He said he wanted me to talk dirty to him which I couldn�t do as my mouth was full of his huge monster cock. I�ve been tired all day and fighting the urge to sleep on the couch. I didn�t really do anything today but laundry and I made some dinner for Tammy and I. No matter what I did I couldn�t shale the feeling of rejection and that I started to think about all my ex�s and one in particular who said, �It�s not you it�s me.� I almost picked up the phone to call the big J from PR but I got distracted and forgot. When I remembered Tammy was here and it was too late to call him. In the midst of my rejection I was thinking that I could call him and feel what it was like to be wanted be someone. Sometimes I wonder why we never have phone sex and then I remember how much I hate that feeling of emptiness when it�s over and all you have is the dial tone and not the person.
I have a huge day tomorrow. Work all day and then off to the monthly Partylite meeting. I won�t be home until late and I really hate that. I actually have enough money to take some cash for tickets to win free stuff. Dad called and my flight is all arranged for my trip in October. I hate that I�ll be gone for Halloween. I enjoyed handing out candy last year and now that I know I will have trick or treaters I�ll have to get more candy next year. I�ve taken the Rod route of making chili and handing out candy while watching scary DVDs. Since I have such a long day I better get my ass in bed so I can get some sleep.
Chew on that!